Enjoy the wedding.Īfter posting something that you thought was smart or funny or good-natured and cute, people are going to make comments on it that lead you to question yourself, your fellow-man, and why you even own a smartphone.
And when they break up you will finally get the chance to tell your friend all the bad things that she didn’t see, but then they will get back together and you will be forced to fake laugh and fake smile till the end of time. Not just kind of hate him but really hate him, and everything about him. You are going to hate your friend’s boyfriend. After they break up with you, they are going to tell their friends what a bad kisser you are even though you’re a really good kisser and everyone knows it, which may be why they broke up with you in the first place. No one has a perfect record, and anyone who says that they do is lying or just sensed that they were about to be dumped and acted quickly in order to beat their partner to it.
Some drunk person is going to start talking to you in a crowded airport, and everyone is going to think that you two are friends. No one will tell you about it, and there’s also a good chance you’ll have a piece of something stuck in your teeth, toilet paper hanging off your shoe, your fly down, and you forgot to put on deodorant. You are going to spend hours getting ready and then walk into a party with a tag sticking out of your shirt. But even our best is filled with mistakes, and unfortunately there are people smaller than us who like to point out our failings so that no one notices theirs. Of course, you are neither of these things-you are doing your best. Someone is going to call you out at work in front of your peers and tell everyone about a mistake that you made and make you feel stupid and useless. People are going to yell at you and make you feel small.
Beach scavengers crossword how to#
In a similar vein, you should learn how to fix a flat tire, because you will get a flat at some point, and, although there are good people out there willing to help you fix it, there are also bad people who keep a tire iron under their seat so that they can kidnap defenseless drivers who don’t know what lug nuts are. It might be the result of an accident, but more likely it’s because of a confusing sign that was put up simply to confuse you so that they could tow your car and leave you lost and confused. But be careful-there are also vultures at work. No one wants to share a kitchen with a hyena, so you will eventually move out and get your own fridge. Why would someone eat your sesame noodles and then lie about it right to your face? This is scavenger behavior, something vultures and hyenas do. They will not admit to having done it, and you will be left frustrated and confused. There will come a time when you open the refrigerator and discover that one of your roommates has eaten your food. What I can, and will, and am about to tell you is some of what you’ll encounter, because, despite trying to be your own person and forge your own path, some stuff simply happens to all of us. I’m not going to tell you how to live because, frankly, I don’t know how.
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